


Crash Landing

by sanctuary_for_all



Category: NCIS: New Orleans
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-27 16:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8407939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuary_for_all/pseuds/sanctuary_for_all
Summary: An explosion forces Sonja to face the truth about her feelings for Christopher LaSalle, whether she's ready to or not.





	1. Chapter 1

People were supposed to wear hardhats just _walking_ into a damn construction site. She and LaSalle were running into this one, a half-built hotel so poorly constructed that it had already killed a man. Oh yeah, and there was a bomb in here somewhere ready to take the whole thing down if Pride and Gregorio couldn’t find Corporal Hawkins and stop him from remotely setting off the detonator.

But there were also two _kids_ trapped in here, the daughters of the developer who had approved the cost cutting measures. Hawkins had kidnapped them and left them here, wanting Reece to lose someone he loved the same way Reece had lost his brother to a construction “accident,” and now she and LaSalle had to find them and get them out in case Pride and Gregorio couldn’t stop it from the other end.

LaSalle had gone after the kids, while she started the hunt for the bomb. Miraculously, he hadn’t argued, following the sound of the shouting children while she started a sweep of the best places structurally to put a bomb. Unfortunately, it wasn’t in _any_ of those places – if everything they’d heard about how many corners had been cut on this building were true, an explosive could be practically anywhere and still do a _hell_ of a lot of damage.

And if she didn’t find it, fast, it could do a hell of a lot of damage to the four of them, too.

“Percy! Over here!” LaSalle’s shout immediately caught her attention, and she hoped like hell that meant he’d found the bomb. When she found him, however, her stomach sank when she realized he was calling for help. The girls looked like they’d fallen through the floor upstairs, and while the youngest was only scraped and bruised the oldest had her leg pinned under a chunk of concrete.

 “Get Izzy out, please!” Emma Reece, only 13, tried to pry her six-year-old sister from around her neck and shove her towards LaSalle. “The man said he was going to make sure Dad’s building hurt us!”

“We’ve got to get you out too, sweetheart,” he said, while Sonja moved to try and help him lift the concrete off the girl’s leg. “Just give us a second.”

But it wouldn’t budge, no matter how hard they tried, and the more her sister cried the more frantic Emma grew. “Please! I know he blew up Dad’s car and killed Marco.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks. “Izzy won’t go unless someone makes her, and I don’t want her to get blown up just because she won’t leave me!”

“Go,” LaSalle told her, expression solemn as he inclined his head toward the exit. “I’ll see if I can find something to pry this concrete up with, and Emma and me will be right behind you.”

Oh, how Sonja wanted to argue. But this time, she had no justification for why she would be the better one to stay behind – when it came to pure lifting capacity, he had a slight edge on her. She had no idea where the bomb was in order to disarm it, so she couldn’t even argue that would be a better use of her time. And they couldn’t leave Emma alone, any more than they could let Izzy die because they were both too stubborn to leave the damn building.

She’d come back. She’d get the kid out, come back, and if he hadn’t gotten Emma’s leg out by then they’d figure out something together. And hopefully the rest of the team would have already stopped Hawkins by then, so they’d have all the time in the world. Chris would be _fine_.

He had to be.

All this flew through Sonja’s head in less than a second, her gut churning with fears she refused to give voice to. Instead, she grabbed the front of his vest and looked him square in the eyes. “If you even _think_ about not making it out of here alive,” she ordered him, throat closing up completely against her will, “I will follow you into the afterlife and kick your ass. Understand?”

The corners of his mouth ghosted upward. “Yes, ma’am.”

Then she hauled the still-sobbing Izzy into her arms and ran out of the half-finished building. The first of their backup had finally made an appearance, and she shoved the girl into the nearest officer’s arms before grabbing an EMT and explaining the situation as quickly as possible. If they had to, they could cut Emma’s leg off and carry her out.

The EMT grabbed the equipment he’d need, hurrying after her as she started running back towards the construction site. Hopefully, all this worrying would be for nothing, because Pride and Gregorio had already stopped Hawkins and would be here any moment with news of his arrest. Chr-LaSalle would tease her that she’d done all that running for—

The explosion knocked her backwards, cutting off the rest of the thought.


	2. Chapter 2

The next part was a blur.

Later, Sonja was told that she’d scrambled upright screaming Chris’s name, that it had taken three officers to hold her back long enough for rescuers to be cleared to go inside. Once that happened, she’d broken free of the officers and ran to help dig.

Sonja’s only clear memory was the desperate, burning need to get to her partner. That, and the prayer circling endlessly through her head.

_Please, God, let me keep Chris. I’ll never ask for anything again if you just let him be alive. I can’t lose him. I’m strong enough for anything but that._

_Please._

000

She didn’t realize the team had gotten there until she felt Sebastian's hand on her shoulder, all her attention on helping dig through the rubble. “Percy, your hands....”

She didn’t lift her head. “He’s still in here.” She’d led the officers to the spot where Chris and Emma had been, but there were still four floors worth of collapsed building to get through. With every second they took, the odds that they’d find them alive and safe went down.

He didn’t say anything more, simply starting to help her dig. She sensed someone else come in on her other side, maybe Gregorio, but her entire focus was digging down to the place she’d left her partner. Her heart stopped for a moment when she noticed streaks of red on a piece of concrete she moved, both hopeful and terrified that it was Chris’s, but then she finally took a close look at her scraped, torn hands and realized that it was coming from her. No longer caring, she started digging again.

Finally, one of the EMTs cried out that he’d found them, and she scrambled over to see. He’d shielded Emma from as much of the explosion as he could, and they found a pulse on the girl almost immediately. People with stretchers hurried over, Pride was saying something, but all Sonja’s attention was on the EMT currently trying to find a pulse on Christopher LaSalle. She’d stopped breathing, the blood pounding in her ears.

He looked so still. Like he was already gone.

The world started going gray at the edges, the ice in her chest growing heavier by the second.  

_Please, God...._

Finally, the EMT’s face cleared. “He’s still alive! Davis, I need....”

She stopped listening at that point, suddenly distracted by the effort it took to keep her knees from buckling. Pride was there, hand on her arm like he knew how unsteady she was. She grabbed his arm. “Tell me you got Hawkins.”

Pride nodded. “We stopped him using the remote detonator, but he had the bomb set on a timer we didn’t know about.” His voice was grim. “We had no idea until we got here.”

Fury burned inside Sonja. “Where is he?”

“Dead.” That was Gregorio.

She curled her fingers into fists, needing someone to kill. “I wanted to do it.”

Gregorio didn’t seem at all surprised. “I know,” she said, voice surprisingly gentle. She watched Sonja like she suddenly understood some things. “I would have saved him for you if I’d known.”

It didn’t matter. She’d worry about putting the walls back up later, remind herself to start using his last name again and care that other people thought they knew what was going on. Once she got Chris back, everything else would be manageable.

Until then, she had more important things to worry about. Chris and Emma were being carried away to ambulances, and she pulled away from the team and hurried to follow Chris’s stretcher. An EMT tried to get in her way, reaching for her now-throbbing hands, and she pushed him out of the way before he could get more than a few words out of his mouth.

Another EMT stopped her at the back of the ambulance. “Agent, I’m sorry—”

Her eyes stayed fixed on the stretcher being loaded into the ambulance. The thought of losing sight of him terrified her – the last time she had, he’d gotten himself _blown up_. Anything could happen, and she wouldn’t even _know_.

“I’m his _wife_ ,” she snapped, the words falling out of mouth more easily than any lie she’d ever told while undercover. It wasn’t even a lie, not really – if he was her work husband, that made her his work wife.

There was an even deeper truth, swimming somewhere beneath, that she couldn’t let herself think about without the ground opening up beneath her feet.

The EMT hesitated, clearly reluctant to argue with whatever he saw in her face. Then he looked down at her hands, swore, and let her go. She slipped inside the ambulance, careful not to get in the way or move him at all as she wrapped her hand around Chris’s and held on. His skin was cool, a far cry from the heat that usually radiated out of him, and she willed her warmth into him as she silently ordered him to hold on.


	3. Chapter 3

She had to let go of him at the hospital, watching both his stretcher and the one carrying Emma as they disappeared into the back. She stood there even after the doors swung closed, scared to move now that she didn’t have something to concentrate on. She felt like she was right on the edge of a cliff, the ground underneath her feet crumbling with every breath she took, and if she moved wrong it would send her plummeting.

Which meant she had to focus on something. The thought of leaving the hospital made her chest seize up, but sitting here thinking about what could go wrong would make her crazy. Tasks. She needed tasks to accomplish.

She stopped a nurse walking by, telling her that she’d been at the bomb site and asking to be kept updated on the two people who had just been brought in. Chris would want to know how Emma was doing, and she wanted to be able to tell him. The nurse looked faintly alarmed at the question, either by the insistence or whatever she saw on Sonja’s face, and she forced herself to let the woman’s arm go as she heard Chris’s voice in her head. _You catch more flies with honey, Percy._

“Please,” she told the nurse, the word coming out dangerously unsteady. “He’s my partner. He’s in here because he tried to save—“

Her voice cracked completely at that, and she shut her mouth rather than betray herself any further. Seeing it, the nurse’s expression gentled. “I’ll pass the word along.” Her own fingers wrapped carefully around one of Sonja’s wrists, lifting up her hand. “Why hasn’t anyone bandaged these?”

Sonja shook her head. She could barely feel the throbbing now, the ache blurring together with everything else. “I’m fine.” The nurse raised a disbelieving eyebrow, making her relent a little. It would at least give her something to focus on. “Okay. If you bring me some bandages, I can do it.”

The nurse looked like she was about to argue, then sighed. “Fine. Worst case scenario, I can say you refused treatment.”

She led Sonja to a supply closet, got her bandages and disinfectant, then sat her down in the waiting room. There were other people there, a family huddled together and another couple, and she realized that the Reeces might be there at any moment to wait for news on Emma. She was sure the team would be here, too, just as soon as they got everything else sorted—

Shit.

Setting the bandages on the chair next to her, she pulled out her phone and called Loretta. The coroner answered immediately. “We heard about Christopher. We’re coming right over.”

Sonja closed her eyes, grateful she wouldn’t have to say the words out loud. Chris was the one who always encouraged her to talk about things, but if she tried to give voice to anything that was inside her right now there was too much of a risk she’d slip right off the edge of that cliff. Instead, she swallowed. “Can you bring me the paperwork on Chris’s desk? Mine, too – I’m going to be here awhile.”

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone. “We’ll bring dinner, too.”

000

They got there surprisingly quickly, and the first thing Loretta did was sit Sonja back down and re-do the bandages she’d attempted to put on. Patton had a stack of files on his lap, and he wheeled them over and sat them down in the empty seat next to Sonja. “We couldn’t get all of them to fit in the van,” he said, voice gentle despite the teasing. “So we brought what we could. Sebastian said he'd bring dinner so we could squeeze in a couple more of them.”

“Thanks.” Sonja reached for the folder on top of the stack, only to be stopped by Loretta’s best “mom” glare.

“You will sit still for five more minutes while I finish this,” she insisted. “Also, I need you to take off your vest. For all I know, you have cracked ribs and haven’t noticed.”

She shook her head even as she undid the vest. “I’m fine. I would have—“ She stopped herself, realizing she might not have. How could she pick apart the feeling of bruised ribs from the rest of the pain that had moved in there?

Loretta’s expression was understanding as she carefully felt around Sonja’s ribcage. “I’m sure you are fine,” she said gently. “But I’d feel better if I had a look.”

While she was checking, Sebastian came in with po boys. “A veggie special for you,” he said, squeezing her shoulder before handing her a wrapped sandwich. "Pride and Gregorio are still at the scene, but they'll be here as soon as they can."

She tried to hand it back to him, shaking her head. The way her stomach was knotted up, she didn’t dare put anything in it. “I’m fine. I don’t need anything.”

Sebastian, however, wouldn’t take it back. “Keep it. You might get hungry later.”

When she saw Pride and Mrs. Reece come in, however, Sonja’s stomach gave a hard twist that made even the idea of food impossible. The woman had Izzy wrapped around her like a monkey, and she had tears in her eyes as she arrowed for Sonja like she had her on radar. “Agent Percy! Has there been any news about Emma?”

Sonja concentrated on keeping her own voice as even as possible. “She’s still in surgery. They’ll come out here as soon as there’s news.”

Only when the woman sat down in the empty seat next to her did Sonja realize Loretta had moved. They all had, giving them the privacy that was the absolute last thing Sonja wanted. Chris had made her slightly better at dealing with other people’s feelings, but not like this. Loretta or Pride should be doing this.

Mrs. Reece leaned forward, hand half lifting as if she was about to reach out for a hug with her free hand, and Sonja felt her whole body tense. She squeezed the woman’s hand, trying to stave off the hug.

In response, Mrs. Reece burst into tears. “You saved Izzy’s life,” she managed. “How can I ever repay you?”

Sonja shook her head, throat tight. “Agent LaSalle was the real hero.” When the woman’s face threatened to crumple again, a wave of understanding hit her. She should be kinder – they both had someone back there. “Emma’ll be just fine,” she told the woman, voice rough as she squeezed her hand. “They both will.”

The woman returned the squeeze. “How can you be sure?”

Sonja blinked, her eyes stinging. “I have to be.”


	4. Chapter 4

The hours stretched on, ticking by so slowly Sonja was sure Sebastian would have some theory about time being messed with. She managed to eat a few bites of the sandwich, giving the rest of it to Mrs. Reece and Izzy, but had considerably more success with the paperwork. It made her feel closer to him, their usual shared complaints about being stuck with the paperwork ringing in her ears, and if she got choked up a few times everyone else was kind enough not to mention it.

Still, it wasn’t enough to stop her from snapping to attention every time a nurse or doctor wandered in their direction. The first two times were for the other people in the waiting room, the family receiving theirs with tears of relief and the couple sobbing as if their hearts had been broken. She felt the ice in her chest again, watching them, and remembered what it felt like to have a piece of your world disappear.

Losing Marion had been bad. Chris... would be infinitely worse.

The first time the doctor was actually meant for them, it was news about Emma. When they heard she’d gone through surgery well and was expected to make a complete recovery, Mrs. Reece broke down completely. Sonja ended up being the one who held her, completely unintentionally, but it was a good way to hide the tears that filled Sonja’s own eyes. Chris wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he’d survived and the little girl hadn’t. And if he....

No. Absolutely not. He would be fine. Nothing else was acceptable.

When the doctor came out the fourth time, Sonja practically tackled him. “Christopher LaSalle?” she asked, sensing everyone behind her snap to attention. “Is he okay?”

The doctor caught her arms, like he was trying to steady her. “It was touch and go for awhile,” he said, sending a belated spike of panic through her heart. “He lost a lot of blood, and the rehab will take time.”

“But he’s alive,” she asked, voice unsteady and eyes already damp. There was cheering behind her, supportive backslaps and hugs, but she had only one priority. “Where is he? Can we see him?”

“He’s still asleep, and I’d advise you to let him remain that way. He’s been moved to room 345, but I suppose if—“

Sonja was gone before he could finish the sentence, already familiar enough with the hospital’s layout over the last several hours that it didn’t take her long to find the right room. She pushed aside the curtains and there he was, even more pale than usual and wrapped in so many bandages it looked like a strange attempt at a mummy costume. But what mattered was the heart monitor beeping steadily next to the bed, and the slow rise and fall of his chest that meant air was being pushed in and out of his lungs.

Her legs nearly buckled again, relief crashing through her like a wave. She moved close enough to grab his hand, warmer than it had been, and wrapped both of hers around it just as the rest of the team filed in behind her.

“Physical therapy’s gonna be a bitch,” Patton said. “But he can do it.”

“I can work up a remote without too much trouble,” Sebastian added. “Let him stay involved even when he can’t make it into work.”

“We’ll work that out with Christopher when he wakes,” Loretta said gently, reaching out to smooth her fingers over his hair. “Sleep tight. We’ll be back in the morning.”

“It's a good thing he's still asleep,” Gregorio said. “If he saw me getting emotional like this I'd have to kill him.”

Then they filed out, and it was just Pride and Sonja left in the room with Chris. Neither of them said anything for a moment, all their attention on the man in the hospital bed, then Pride took a ragged breath. “He’ll be okay.”

“He absolutely will.” Sonja let go of her partner only long enough to swipe at her wet cheeks. “We’ll make sure of it.”

Pride looked up at her then, expression softening. “You know they’ll kick you out at some point, right?”

“I’ll tell them he’s under a 24-hour protective detail and needs to have an agent with him at all times.” Sonja had thought it all through while they were in the waiting room. “It’ll help if my commanding officer backs my story up if someone from the hospital ends up calling him.”

“I think he can manage it.” But he still watched her, something that looked dangerously like understanding in his eyes. “You should tell him,” he said finally, voice quiet.

Her gaze slid away from his, escaping back down to Chris. _Are we ever gonna talk about it, Percy?_ “That he’s an ass for getting himself blown up?” she asked, her hands tightening on his. “You’re damn right I should.”

She could feel him still watching her, even though she didn’t look up to check. “Not admitting to feelings doesn’t mean you stop feeling them,” he said finally, a weight to the words that made it sound like he was speaking from experience. “It just makes it hurt more when you lose the chance to tell the other person.”

Sonja closed her eyes. Would it have made today worse or better if they’d talked about it? If he’d stayed in that building knowing if he died, a chunk of her would go with him? “It sounds like you’re encouraging fraternization among your agents,” she said, voice rough.

“Just calling it like I see it,” he said gently. “Kind of surprised I didn’t realize what I was seeing before now, actually.”

There was nothing safe she could say to that, so she didn’t say anything at all. After a moment, she heard him head toward the door. When he passed by her, he stopped long enough to squeeze her shoulder. “I’ll bring you a chair.”


	5. Chapter 5

_“I’m sorry.” The doctor’s expression was grim. “We did everything we could.”_

_Sonja just stared at him, her brain refusing to process the words. “No.” Her voice sounded like it was coming from a great distance, the grey creeping in around her vision. A hole had opened up inside her, raw and bleeding like someone had torn something vital out of her chest._

_The doctor kept talking, saying something about contacting the next of kin, but Sonja couldn’t bear to listen anymore. She felt so cold, every breath she took full of ice, and there was a roaring in the back of her head loud enough to drown out everything else. Chris… Chris was…. She couldn’t make herself finish the thought, the reality of it too terrible to contemplate._

_She’d have to live it, though._

Sonja jerked awake, heart pounding in her ears, and there was a second of pure panic before she remembered where she was. She’d fallen asleep in the chair, head pillowed on one arm and the other arm lying across Chris’s leg. His heart monitor continued beeping steadily, and she let the sound soothe her as she matched her breathing to the same smooth, steady rhythm.

“Okay, clearly sleeping isn’t going to be an option right now,” she said out loud, rubbing a tired hand across her face. “I guess it’s back to paperwork.”

She reached down for the paper sitting on top of the stack next to her chair, then leaned forward so her elbows rested on the edge of the bed. “Don’t think I’m not going to make you help me with these the moment you wake back up.” She smiled a little, rubbing an affectionate hand over his knee. “I shouldn’t have said that, should I? Now you’ll stay asleep longer just to make sure you don’t have to help.”

Her chest clenched as the echo of the nightmare flickered through her memory. “Not too long, though.” Her hand tightened on his leg. “I need you back here, LaSalle.” But the name felt wrong in her mouth now, and she let out a breath. “Chris. Shit. I’m going to have to train myself back out of that now, aren’t I?”

She could all too easily see the look he’d be giving her if he was awake, the one that made it clear he knew she was dancing around the truth. She wasn’t even biting her lip – that, she’d trained herself out of as soon as he’d told her – but somehow he’d still know. He always seemed to be able to see inside her, and nothing he’d ever seen had ever made him flinch away.

Sonja shoved at his leg a little, gently enough that it wouldn’t wake him up. “My life was a hell of a lot simpler before you showed up, you know.” She swallowed. “I was pretty good at the whole lone wolf thing – I could outgrowl anybody, no matter how big their teeth were. But you _liked_ it when I snapped at you, which for the record is just about the craziest damn thing. And I….” Her chest felt tight, like she couldn’t breathe. “I….”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “I didn’t _want_ this. I should have learned my lesson with Marion, and Ty was pretty much icing on the cake. I’m not _good_ at keeping people, and so I made sure I didn’t need anybody. Even Merre – I was hurt when she left, sure, but she deserves to go live her own life. I’m a big girl. I can pull myself together.”

She opened her eyes again, inhaling shakily. “But you… you got under my skin. You became so damn _important_ while I wasn’t looking, and suddenly a world without you in it became the scariest thing I’ve ever heard of.”

Sonja wrapped her fingers around his, turning to look up at his sleeping face. “I know you wanted to talk about the hug, Chris, but I _can’t_. I nearly kissed you, but the truth is that I’m actually worse at relationships than I am at friendship. If I break this, I… I just can’t.” She shook her head, eyes damp for no damn reason. “I can’t risk this, no matter how much I want to. I’m sorry.”

The silence echoed, not even a nurse in the hallway to break it, and Sonja swiped her free hand across her eyes. “Talk about going soft….”

“I kinda like it.”

She froze at the quiet sound of Chris’s voice, praying for a split second that she’d hallucinated it. But then his hand tightened around hers, and she looked up to see him watching her a soft expression that made her throat tighten. “How much of that did you hear?” she asked, voice less steady than was at all safe.

“Enough.” His lips quirked upward. “Thought I was dreaming, at first.”

 She couldn’t stop her own lips from curving a little. Damn it, she’d missed him. “Maybe you’re dreaming right now. They did give you the good stuff.”

His smile widened. “Not even the good stuff is this good.” Then his expression turned serious. “I’m not going anywhere, Percy.” He stopped, expression going soft again. “Sonja.”

Having him say her name like that should _not_ make her melt like this. It was just one more sign of how little protection she had against him. “You can’t promise that.”

“I can.” The words were quietly certain, his thumb stroking the back of her hand like he wasn’t entirely aware he was doing it. “If I get a vote, I’d really like us to follow through on that almost kiss. But if I don’t, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m not leaving you unless I either die or you make me.” His voice was rough. “When I love someone, I don’t let go.”

Her eyes filled, emotion a fist around her heart. “You might regret saying that, country mouse. I’m not an easy person to love.”

“Easy’s boring.” He grinned. “Besides, I’m no picnic, either.”

“Preaching to the choir, here.” The teasing was automatic, the bravery that let the next words slip out far less familiar. “Didn’t stop me from falling, though.”

It wasn’t the words, not really, but it was enough to make Chris go absolutely still, emotion flooding his face. He swallowed. “That’s good to hear.”

 “Pretty good to say, too.” Emotion flooded her, affection and something far deeper, and she stood up and leaned over the edge of the bed to press her lips to Chris’s. The kiss was gentle, not even a hint of tongue, but it made something inside her sing the way a kiss hadn’t in a really long time.

When they broke apart, he smiled up at her. “There’s room up here,” he murmured. “Especially for someone as little as you are.”

“Shut it.” But she smiled back. “I’ll annoy the nurses even more than I already am.”

That wasn’t a no, and Chris’s expression made it clear he knew it. “I’ll protect you.”

He scooted over as much as the tubes would let him, and she carefully climbed up on the bed and settled down in the available space. Tangling her fingers with his again, she felt something shift in her chest like a puzzle piece slotting into place. “Tell me if I shift wrong and hurt you.”

“Not something I’m worried about.” His smile was slow and easy as he tightened his had around hers. “Love’s the best medicine, after all.”

She smiled, pressing a kiss against his shoulder. “Even better than the good stuff?”

He turned his head so that his cheek rested against her hair, already drifting back off to sleep. “Absolutely.”

Still smiling, she closed her eyes and let herself follow him.

**Author's Note:**

> Come check out my weekly posts and original short fiction on my [blog](http://jennifferwardell.blogspot.com) or say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://sanctuaryforalluniverses.tumblr.com)!


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